Musings from the Cubicle

I am forever fascinated with the many ways of how people make a living - in Paris I marvelled at the entertainer who sang funny songs and attracted children like a magnet, wondered who build those little black and white pillars in Palais Royal, and almost asked the poete public to compose me something, anything.

This summer I am working too; not in the medical field but in the government, working as an intern and researching on child welfare policies. The work is fun and stimulating and feels strangely familiar but the cubicle itself embodies boredom, dullness and rigidity. Every afternoon I try to go out for a little stroll round the busiest bit of town, where every corner is flooded with an overflow of people and always in flux. Only when the streets are bloomed with such buzz and vitality can I finally experience the transient romance of the busy work life.

Closing in

A sweet close to the end; the bottle of Sofia is well worth the wait. Strangely enough finishing this academic year does not feel euphoric, jubilant - I feel happy but thoroughly exhausted. But this year out of medicine has allowed me to learn a lot of more than I ever have (studying philosophy, learning french, volunteering, blogging), and I am truly grateful of everything and everyone (yes, every of you too who is here now on the blogosphere!) that I have met.

We celebrated the end of exams by dining at the Wright Brothers. Hun, congratulations on finishing your Bachelor of Arts degree again (and secretly congratulating myself for having gone half way) - and of course: Mardi prochain, nous allons voyager à Paris!

x

I Dreamt a Dream

From *Roberta Ridolfe

By the end of this year I should have:

*gone to New York (finally!)

*completed my dissertation

*completed my first degree

*spent the summer either in Switzerland/India/Hong Kong

*started medical school again

Oh good God.

Nothing is more daunting than things left undone.

- How would I get there, and how should I get there?

Under a blanket of Gray

amidst the chaos I am beginning to see the blessing under disguise.

orientation, followed by disorientation, now what?

*from Sebastiaan Bremer

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

- 1 Corinthians 13:11

The conversation we had over tea left me thinking - mmm, I should start living the way I want life to be. Painting it with brilliant colours, with caring touches and smiles. Organising life into little manageable packets. Pondering over more important things in life. Reading those books that I always meant to read. Writing. Swimming in the glistening sea. Kissing certain silly thoughts goodbye. Seeing the world with new, bright wide eyes.

And that living in style does not involve obsession nor consumption, but exploration of the essence within; To cherish, embrace and nourish it with all you have - be at ease with who you are.

So, perhaps we will say au revoir for now, but I will be back somehow : )

With enlightenment and showers of blessing, see you on the flip side,

x

A Certain Inner Music

the trouble at home is, i can only listen to shostavkovich or joy division quietly as my own little guilty pleasure and cannot go out as much as i want; but the good thing is, i got to do something really worthwhile this summer, drench myself in the scent of the rain, and stop drooling over some certain miu miu shoes. the other day i read the whole marc jacobs advertising book by juergen teller discreetly in the corner of a MJ store, and this has constituted an ethereal part of my really great day.

and even the day goes bad, i can always play a certain music in my head .

Gone;

1. above is my new acquisition:)

2. since exams finished i travelled, took photographs, visited numerous galleries, ate around town, walked and read. the more i go out and experience different things - the less eager i readily write about these wonderful encounters.

3. i guess the reason behind is that i would need to time to settle down, let memories and thoughts sink in, and perhaps then i will write?

Collage

From my flickr favourites it is obvious that i like curious animals, big flowers, pastel colours (at times) and light leak.

Book List

The weight of the book sinking in your palms as you read, cold lemonade, breeze.

To be finished by August:

All books by Oliver Sacks

All books by Francoise Sagan

Virginia Woolf's diaries

Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason - Michael Foucault

Anything on Philosophy of Science

The Selfish Gene

The Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides

Poetry by Philip Larkin, Ted Hughes, Charles Bukowski (!), Auden

The Real Van Gogh: The Artist and His Letters

Such lavish joy of savouring the remnants of trees and ink, of absorbing past knowledge and intellect and emotions and milieux.

Counting down;

*from our trip to Paris last year, olympus trip 35

But Paris was a very old city and we were young and nothing was simple there, not even poverty, nor sudden money, nor the moonlight, nor right and wrong nor the breathing of someone who lay beside you in the moonlight.

- Ernest Hemingway

less than 48 hours until the grand finale, and then our spring escape to the great city again. My heart is leaping with joy and full anticipation, and the imaginary suitcase is already filled with rolls of films, LBDs and books to read. But we will be there to get lost in les rues et boulevards, see Paris in its sunshine and mist, visit small shops and galleries and retreat into the night with an abundance of jazz and wine. As always my mind is overwhelmed, overwhelmed, in marche a petit pas.

And perhaps it may rain, but

I can always wear my trench coat, drenched in summer rain.

He has bestowed us the greatest strength;

*from here

'Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.'

Goethe

oh, to be free

*from tsilli; featuring her most amazing dog tommy

16 days until the end of this all-jumbled-up turmoil. from psychology to statistics to physiology to the randomest facts of life! I most enjoy reading up on neurological conditions and the mechanism of how ions flow in/outside the cell bores me to the core. All these may seem mundane at the moment, one day the knowledge will prove itself to be immensely useful, illuminating and worthwhile.

And doesn't that mean mere 18 days later i will be jumping on the earliest eurostar train with my beau, heading for the city of light?

x

i like my body when it is with your

body. It is so quite new a thing.

Muscles better and nerves more.

i like your body. i like what it does,

i like its hows. i like to feel the spine

of your body and its bones, and the trembling

-firm-smooth ness and which i will

again and again and again

kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,

i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz

of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes

over parting flesh ... And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

- e e cummings

La Garconne

*from La Garconne

1. To be effortlessly stylish - it is not about what you wear, but the attitude, talent, charisma that makes what you are wearing extra special.

2. In fact, who would not want to wander in busy streets to shop for some scallop trimmed shorts, trench coat, paired with ballerina flats, straw boater and a striped or lace or linen shirt? Sometimes I easily get overwhelmed by material desires; but when I reside in silence again, nothing indeed satisfies me more than a priceless moment; a good book, nice company, a warm cup of tea, a cat curling in my lap, and cherry blossoms and trees and the smell of toasted marshmallow suffusing the air; then I become une garçonne once all my senses are alive, and enjoying life in its rawness and fullness again.

Van Gogh

Romans Parisiens (Les Livres Jaunes) 1887, Vincent Van Gogh

My friend and I queued for 2 hours trying to get into The Real Van Gogh: The Artist and His Letters exhibition at the Royal Academy of Arts; but the queue was stagnant for a good while, plus the gallery would probably be so crowded that we could only have a glimpse of each painting from afar - after tossing the coin, we left and got the exhibition catalogue instead (for £10.50 - Even cheaper than a single ticket!) Then we went to the National Gallery to see some other Van Gogh paintings instead.

Above is one of my favourite drawings of his.

Persephone Books

'Persephone prints mainly neglected fiction and non-fiction by women, for women and about women. The titles are chosen to appeal to busy women who rarely have time to spend in ever-larger bookshops and who would like to have access to a list of books designed to be neither too literary nor too commercial. The books are guaranteed to be readable, thought-provoking and impossible to forget.'

'Our books look beautiful because we believe that, whether they are on an office desk, by the Aga, or hanging in a bag over the handles of a buggy, it is important to get pleasure from how they look and feel. With their distinctive plain grey jackets and cream 'labels' for the title wording, all our books look the same from the outside. Inside, each is different, with the endpapers chosen especially to match the date and mood of the book.

Fabrics are as much a part of our daily lives as furnishing and dress materials, yet we rarely see them used in any other context. However, fabric design should be celebrated for its own sake; and because it is a field in which women designers have been particularly prominent we would like to use their work whenever possible.'

An incredibly beautiful bookshop, with many interesting titles written by many women who have lived. With words interwoven with vintage fabric, we are back to the women's times where they wandered, wrote and weeped.

59 Lamb's Conduit Street

WC1N 3NB

On fragrance, beauty and gustatory pleasure

Beauty is an ecstasy; it is as simple as hunger.
There is really nothing to be said about it. It is like the perfume of a rose: you can
smell it and that is all.

- Somerset Maugham

My collection of perfume, from left to right: Pure Poison, Beyond Paradise and Chloe. Each name and fragrance promise something beautiful - seduction of a new lover, a swirling romance; a heavenly place beyond imagination, irresistible loveliness and charm. But in essence, these indescribably mesmerising fragrances - they evoke a deeper feeling in me, the memory of an unforgettable kiss in the musky darkness, of feeling being on top of the world, of sunshine, of coming in from the terrestrial rain, of tenderness and joyful surprises.

The feeling of I am, for a moment, uniquely feminine, empowered, and invincible.

There is a certain lingering in the air...

*here

My heart is a lonely hunter.

April in Paris

*clare owen illustration

... or maybe just april in London. but meanwhile i will hopefully be wearing lots of breton stripes, savouring croissants and looking at my favourite french painting, aching for my late spring get-a-way...

x x x

happy finds!

*liberty print blouse from wills-moody jumblesale (nw1 london) for a quid!

*topshop ditsy floral sunnies
*h&m garden collection shorts (silky, organic cotton)

(not in photo) picture snapped by my canon av-1.

x